My coworker Keith’s wife Vivian made these fantastic Sushi Cupcakes for us today.  Not only were they amazingly detailed, they were also quite delicious.   Fore more information on how Vivian made these delectable goodies, check out her blog post about them.

This is a product for the almost criminally lazy, so much so that I am posting it mainly to highlight how damn lazy (some would say “efficient”) our society has become: Batter Blaster, the spray can of pancake/waffle batter. I guess if you already use the instant stuff, this is not really that much of a descent for you, and the can does say “organic”… but really, come on, there is zero chance that this is actually good for human consumption. That said, we (I include myself in this statement) eat a lot of terrible things in America, so why not make them faster to make so we can eat more! There will be a time that I move to another country, and it will be things like this that make me do so. Via BoingBoing for me, but it seems like Strange New Products may have found it first, as they usually do for things like this.

A little while ago I was emailed this story, and if it’s real (as best I can see so far, it is), I am resigning as a human being. If it is not real, whoever came up with this idea may want to look into thinking happier thoughts. Behold the Ortolan, a bird that is prepared and consumed in the most disgusting, inhumane manner I have ever heard of:

First, it is caught with a net in the forest. Taken alive, its eyes are poked out and the bird is put in a small cage. It’s then force-fed oats, millet and figs until it has swollen to four times its normal size. Then the bird is drowned alive in fine cognac. Then, it’s roasted whole, in an oven at high heat, for six to eight minutes. Once it reaches the table, a napkin is placed over the eater’s head. The technique of eating the ortolan is to put the whole bird into the mouth, with only the beak protruding. Here sadism mingles with masochism. The first taste as you crunch on the bird is the brandied flesh and fat. Then, the bitterness of the guts follow and finally, as the tiny, delicate bones are being chewed on, they will lacerate the diner’s gums, with the salty taste of the bleeding gums mingling with the richness of the fat and the bitterness of the organs. Chewing the ortolan takes approximately 15 minutes.

Why in the hell was this ever started? Every part of Ortolan eating seems like the type of thing that a totally deranged teenager would think up in between shooting cats and skinning squirrels in his back yard “laboratory” (tool shed). How something so absolutely sick ever reached a level of acceptance that it became a cuisine, then grew so big that selling the bird in France was outlawed, I will never know. It leaves me sad for the entire human race.

Pur [I can't find the key to put a stupid line over the "u", soooo sorry] has made a new water filtration attachment to purify your tap water. Oh and also to flavor it. Whaaaat? I think this is a decent idea, since I am one of those people who chooses juice over water any day of the week, but it is still a tad zany. There is a water pitcher version of it that does the same thing, perhaps that is more something I could rally behind. You also can use your tap normally when it is installed- to flavor the water you depress a button on top. The flavor packet is refillable, but I would love to see a price comparison between this system and just getting Crystal Light or something like that and making it by the pitcher. One thing I could see this being useful for is those times where you want a quick drink and there is nothing in the fridge, but this relies on you to have remembered to change the flavor packet if it ran out previously, so I guess it is a null sum game. Via Strange New Products.

I had couscous for lunch while sitting at my desk, and now there are tiny little pieces of it hiding all over the place. This led me to the following observation:

Couscous is the culinary equivalent of glitter.

Not that it tastes bad, but damn- that stuff is pretty much impossible to eat without getting at least a little bit of it somewhere that is not on your plate or in your belly.

The above pictures are part of a series over on thewvsr.com that seeks to blow the lid off of false advertising in the fast food industry. The pics all show the advertised and real version of various food items from most of the major fast food companies, and its kind of sad how far off some of them are. A few are just not so great in the ad pictures, and some, like this Whopper, show outright contempt for the customer. Thank you Adam for the link.

The above image is floating around the interwebs a bit lately, and it is a mildly amusing idea- turning an old typewriter into a waffle iron.  But if you go to the artist, Chris Dimino‘s site you will see some really much cooler conceptual art that he has done for other clients and for portfolio purposes.  My favorite is the gas mask shower head, pictured below.  Via SlashFood.

Ok, this one needs to be read to be believed. Avure Technologies have created a machine called a hydrostatic pressure processing (HPP) system. Basically it is a machine that exerts immense pressure on any food item that you immerse in water inside of it. The pressure kills bacteria and pathogens in the food, enabling you to effectively pasteurize food without cooking it at all. The military already uses this technology to create better tasting MRE’s, and in the civilian sector, Avoclasic guacamole and Hormel Natural Choice deli meats use it as well. Here is where it gets crazy; they are now using HPP machines to kill and shuck live lobsters:

The animals are locked inside the tube, alive, and the pumps whir and the water pressure is compressed around the lobsters to three times the deepest trenches in the ocean. The lobsters die, of course — just think what the pressure on your ears is like when you dive a few feet underwater. At the same time, all the muscle flesh inside the lobsters conveniently separates from the shell. For the first time in human history, people have finally devised way to extract the meat of a lobster without cooking it.

The end result you can see above- completely intact raw lobster meat. I am not sure how quickly they die, how this compares to boiling or cutting their heads off with a knife, or anything like that. I do know that those legs are hard to get meat out of, so this machine is pretty damn powerful. I eat lobster about once every few years, so I don’t think I have any need for the services of such a machine, but I am sure that it is revolutionizing some people’s lives. Via BoingBoing.

At our hotel in Bologna the front desk had a dish of little mints made by the folks who make Tic Tacs called “Silvers”. I had never even heard of them in the States- I’m not sure if they are new, exclusive to Europe, or what, but they are amazingly tasty. I thankfully bought a large bag of them at a gas station, so if they are not sold in the US, I’m solid for a little while. Silvers are not like other mints I have had, they are kind of candied like a Tic Tacs but mintier than them at the same time, and they are large and round like a Skittle, only slightly smaller. If you see them in a store, grab a bag, they are really good. I am really not a candy or a mint person, so coming from me, this is an extremely rare endorsement. And I mean that in the sense that I am endorsing them, not that I am being paid to endorse them. Have you tried Silvers? What do you think?

I already know Avena as the company that makes the most soothing bath additive in the world if you have poison ivy or poison oak. But now they are making drinkable oatmeal!  I wonder if it works on itchy throats or something… it is really aimed at making nutritious breakfasting easier and faster.  I will reserve judgment on it until I get to actually try it, but an oatmeal flavored drink strikes me as less than yummy.  Via Strange New Products.